DavidKundtz.com
Stopping.com

"An Introduction to Stopping"

Plus two articles: Scroll down to:
"Learn How to Do Stillpoints"
"Aphorisms Related to Stopping"


An Introduction to Stopping


Do you want to understand the difference between Mars and Venus? Want to care for your soul? Want to walk the road less traveled? Want to not sweat the small stuff? Want to capture the power of Now? Of course - so do I. But as much as we want them, if we don't approach these enlightened projects of self-improvement from a Stopped position, chances are very good that we will fail.

Are you in business and focused on the bottom line? Struggling to grow? Anxious to gain a competitive advantage? Then maybe you cringe at the thought of Stopping." "Why would I Stop? The idea is to Go!" But the Going is getting us into deep trouble. That is, if we are Going without first Stopping.

For whatever length of time we do it, we need to spend fallow time, still time, quiet time, time with no agenda at all. I believe we're talking about the difference between merely surviving and really thriving. We must learn again to become peacefully still.

Specifically, what do I mean by Stopping? Here is the definition upon which the practice of Stopping is based:

Stopping is doing nothing, as much as possible, for a definite period of time -- whether a moment or a month -- for the purpose of waking up and remembering who you are.

So, most importantly, Stopping is doing nothing, spending time with nothing specifically to do. It can be from a few seconds to a few hours (These are Stillpoints). It can be a whole day or a weekend (Stopovers). It can even be a longer time, a few weeks or a month or more (Grinding Halts).

And what do you "do" during these times? Again, nothing. And just how do you do nothing? Just hang out, breathe, walk, sit, mess around, pace, gaze out the window, wander down the lane, observe, notice, daydream, take a break, slowly drink a glass of water, be still, practice smiling, stretch…. The list is limitless; it is limited only by our lack of comfort with what we might call "down time."

We are such a rushed society, zooming through life as if running scared. We tend to treat moments of stillness as strangers, even as enemies, or at best as a waste of time.

Stopping is anything but a waste of time and has nothing to do with laziness. It is, I suggest, the most important time of your life.

Why? The answer is as profound as it is simple: Doing-nothing-kind-of-time used to be very common to human life. It just naturally happened in the spaces between the events of our lives: the walk to work or school, hours in the fields with a lot of time to think, quiet moments waiting for the pot to boil, the radio to warm up, the rain to stop. Sadly--no, tragically--these Stopping moments, these quiet times, are now rare indeed. And if they do come our way, our immediate tendency is to fill them with even more activity.

We can chalk it up to the changing times and our modern lives. But what we forget is that this kind of time is perhaps our richest source of meaning and creativity, because it is during these moments, hours, and days that we become awake to what is going on in our lives and remember what we need to keep in mind for our journeys. Without Stopping time, our souls go to sleep, we're distracted, and we forget what is most important to us.

Asleep, distracted, and forgetting is no state in which to begin any project, personal or business. It is a set up for failure. We risk waking up one cold, gray morning when we think we're too old to change and realize that we missed the life we wanted.

Stopping is really very simple to understand. After all, doing nothing is not a difficult concept to grasp. What is challenging is to change your life to include this kind of time. It fact, it is quite counter-cultural; perhaps you could call it spiritually revolutionary or radical.

On the other hand, it can also seem, well, sort of simplistic or almost naive...or maybe even silly. That is, it may seem that way until you try it -- until you Stop, for a minute or a month, and allow it's benefits to become evident. Then the power and truth, the effects and the joys of Stopping become quite clear. The only difficult part of Stopping is becoming still enough, long enough so that you can experience its power.

The best things about Stopping are: It is totally simple, you probably already do it in some way (now make it intentional). It is easy (you just do nothing in whatever way you can at the moment). And it's enjoyable (this is time of rest, renewal, with no agenda).

I guarantee that a day punctuated with little moments-of-doing-nothing will bring you to its end more refreshed and centered than you might expect. And a whole afternoon of doing nothing could become the cornerstone of your week.

Stopping will keep your life your life, since it is based on the belief that it is vitally important to know what and whom you deeply care about, and, as Friedrich Von Hugel said decades ago, "Caring is the greatest thing, caring matters most."


Keep in mind:

--Doing Nothing is not a waste of time. It is, in fact, the most important time of your life because it allows what is meaningful and valuable to you to become conscious.

--Because we often feel guilty when we're not "doing something," I hereby give you permission to do nothing. Please give yourself permission too.

--The paradox of Stopping is that it increases efficiency. This includes "the bottom line." This is because you are more awake, present to the moment, and focused on your work.

--Stopping's purpose is to bring you into contact with your true self, that part of you which really knows who you are and what you want.

--Stopping is not like some forms of meditation or other methods and spiritual systems that require long periods of time and involve dogmas and beliefs (although it's compatible with all of them.)

--It's for people with busy lives.

--Stopping is constantly helping you clarify your meanings and values, that is, the spiritual dimensions of your life.

Start Now…

--David Kundtz


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Learn How to Do Stillpoints -- The most simple form of Stopping


Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.
-T. S. Eliot

Here's how you can do a . . . S t i l l p o i n t
• Pause a moment…and just stay as you are, probably in front of your computer.
• Now, briefly relax your body as much as possible, letting go of tensions.
• Then take a deep, relaxing breath. S-l-o-w-l-y, take another.
• Now take a moment to think of someone, or something, you love or enjoy… Got it in mind?
• Okay, as you gently hold that image of what you love in your mind softly close your eyes for five or ten seconds.

That's it ! That's one example of a Stillpoint


Here's another, perhaps at work…

• Cease whatever you are doing at the moment, walk to a window and look out. (If there's no window, simply look around you) Just look. Notice what you see. Just notice, that's all

• Be still. Simply noticing whatever is before your eyes, nothing more. This is time with no agenda

• Let some time pass, a few seconds, a few minutes, no matter. Just loose track of time a bit. Doing nothing, your mind wandering

• Focus on your breathing. Notice yourself breathing in and breathing out. In and out. In and out. Perhaps your eyes have now closed, maybe not

• A last deep breath…

You can do them anywhere, any time


Another example, in the car waiting for a red light…

• Fix your eyes on the red light, a symbol now of a quiet Stopping moment

• Relax your hold on the wheel and take slow, deep breaths

• For the remainder of the red light simply Be Here Now

• That's all


Or while you're at home, just after dinner…

• Step outside for a few moments, perhaps walking in the neighborhood, or just standing outside

• Look at the sky. Notice what you see, or what you don't see: Color - black? blue? gray? Are there stars? moon? sun? an airplane? Just notice whatever is there

• Now just feel yourself as under the sky. Just that.

• Breathe deeply and again be aware of yourself: breathing - now - under the sky.


Or while you're waiting in line somewhere…
(This is a good one whenever you're feeling impatient)

• Begin with a few deep breaths to relax and bring oxygen to your body

• Slowly, quietly, with no sense of obligation, begin to count your blessings

• Keep them coming

• Breathe….


Or on the weekend, when no one's home…

• Begin by sitting in a comfortable place for a few moments and focus on your quiet breathing

• Look around you. Just look

• After a little while, quietly get up and take a walk around your home seeing the things you take for granted: an old chair you like, a dresser, a bed, a rug, a lamp from someplace, a photo…

• Return to your comfortable place

• End with a simple wish (or prayer, or desire, or hope, or…)


Now you've got the idea. Stillpoints can happen any time, anywhere, in any way you want. You can add a prayer you like, or a meaningful gesture. The more personal, the more effective. The essential ingredients are simple:

• Stop what you are doing
• Breathe
• Do Nothing any way you want to

When you come to the end of a day with many Stillpoints you'll feel more relaxed, more awake and,
most importantly, more ready to go on.

Stillpoints make the dance (life!) successful and satisfying.

Total simplicity! Amazing power!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aphorisms Related to Stopping


If you can't meditate, vegetate.
Men's Health Magazine, 1995

I am the pause between two notes...
Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours

Someone sold us out--but only when we ceased to pay attention. Timothy Findley in The Telling of Lies

Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares
which will not withdraw from us.
We need hours of aimless wandering
or spates of time sitting on park benches,
observing the mysterious world of ants
and the canopy of treetops.
Attributed to Maya Angelou

Health requires this relaxation, this
aimless life. This life in the present.
Henry David Thoreau

Great peace is found in little busy-ness.
Geoffrey Chaucer (1340-1400)

We apprehend Him . . . in the space
that separates the salient features of a picture . . .
in the pauses and intervals between the notes of music. . . Aldous Huxley

One eats in holiness
and the table becomes an altar.
Martin Buber

If you are what you do,
when you don't you aren't.
Quoted by William J. Byron, SJ

We have lived not in proportion to the
number of years we have spent on the earth,
but in proportion as we have enjoyed.
Henry David Thoreau

Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.
T.S.Eliot, Four Quartets

We all need to pause before the contemplation of our lives before we can laugh or cry. We are dying for it, literally dying for it.
William Carlos Williams, 1960

The only thing that keeps us from floating off with the wind is our stories. They give us a name and put us in a place, allow us to keep on touching.
Tom Spanbauer

Caring is the greatest thing, caring matters most
Friedrich Von Hugel, 1925

The fast-paced rhythm of modern life
conditions us to skim the surface of experience,
then quickly move on to something new.
Stephan Rechschaffen, MD

I lean and loafe at my ease....observing a spear of
summer grass.
Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855

If families just let the culture happen to them,
they end up fat, addicted, broke, with
a house full of junk and no time.
Mary Pipher

A calling may be postponed, avoided,
intermittently missed...but eventually it will out.
James Hillman

Beyond living and dreaming
there is something more important: waking up
Antonio Machado, Times Alone

The most terrifying thing is
to accept oneself completely.
Carl Jung

There is more to life
than increasing its speed.
Mohandas Gandhi

...to search out the deep truth of life,
to lift a veil from its fascinating secrets...
Maria Montessori

(Going on retreat) has something to do with an aspect
within each one of us...unknown to science...that longs to be at peace. David A. Cooper

The way to do is to be.
Lao Tzu, 600 B.C.E

Unlike achieving things worth having, to achieve
things worth being usually requires long periods of solitude. Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Mary Jean Iron

It is good to have an end to journey toward;
but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
Ursula K. LeGuin

To live is so startling
it leaves little time for anything else.
Emily Dickinson

Keep your face to the sunshine
and you cannot see the shadow.
Attributed to Helen Keller

Finally it has penetrated my think skull. This life-this moment-is no dress rehearsal. This is it!
F. Knebel

My soul can find no stairway to heaven unless it be through earth's lovliness.
Michelangelo

If you are losing your leisure, look out!
You may be losing your soul.
Logan Pearsall Smith

Life is what happens to you
while you're busy making other plans.
Attributed to John Lennon

There is no security on this earth;
there is only opportunity.
Gen. Douglas MacArthur

The more simple we are
the more complete we become
Attributed to August Rodin

Thinking is more interesting than knowing,
but less interesting than looking.
Goethe

Open all your pores and bathe in all the tides of nature, in all her streams and oceans, at all seasons.
Henry David Thoreau

Feeling light within, I walk.
Navajo night chant

It's in our idleness...that the submerged
truth sometimes comes to the top.
Virginia Woolf

I wonder how all those who not not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the...fear which
is inherent in the human situation.
Graham Greene

The reason angels can fly is that
they take themselves so lightly.
G. K. Chesterton

One sees great things from the valley,

only small things from the peak.
G. K. Chesterton

You can have little periods during the day where
you stop and re-focus, say a prayer, whatever may be meaningful to you and it can get you back into freedom from fear, into the moment and living the person you want to be.
Bernie Segal

Things are seldom about what they seem to be about.
George Wilson, SJ

The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present.... As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
Abraham Lincoln

No matter how fast we go, no matter how many
comforts we forgo...there never seems to be enough time. Jay Walljasper

I have a very full and busy life and occasionally I am asked, "Scotty, how can you do all that you do?"...The most telling reply I can give is: "Because I spend at least two hours a day doing nothing."
M. Scott Peck

I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. H.D. Thoreau

Millions of persons long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy afternoon. Susan Ertz

There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting.... The degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting. Milan Kundera

Nobody sees a flower, really -- it is so small -- we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. Georgia O'Keefe

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room. Blaise Pascal

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. Stephen Vincent Benet

What information consumes is...the attention of its recipients. Hence, a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention... Herbert Simon

Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out. Oliver Wendell Holmes

I have spent many days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung. R. Tagore

We're in such a hurry most of the time we never get much of a chance to talk. The result is a kind of day-to-day shallowness, a monotony that leaves a person wondering years later where all the time went and sorry that it's all gone. Robert M. Pirsig

I am doing nothing, I like to be doing nothing to some purpose. That is what leisure means.
Alan Bennett


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------